Waking Up to a Cultural Game I Never Chose

For most of my life, I believed drinking alcohol was simply what people did. It was part of growing up, part of college, part of adulthood, and part of almost every social gathering. Looking back, I never once asked myself whether I actually wanted to drink or whether I was simply playing along with a script written for me long before I was old enough to understand it.

The truth is that choosing not to drink is far more difficult than choosing to drink, not because alcohol is inherently irresistible, but because society has built a world where drinking is the default. As someone who grew up with asthma, became an ultra runner, and eventually built the Athlete with Asthma platform to help others thrive, I had to confront the ways my environment shaped my choices. That included acknowledging how deeply alcohol was woven into every corner of my life. This post (and the YouTube video linked here and podcast episode linked here) is my attempt to pass along what I have learned and offer an honest look at why I stopped playing along.

The Normalization of Alcohol Starts Early

Alcohol is unique because its normalization begins long before most of us ever taste it. As children, we watch adults toast champagne, share beers at barbecues, sip wine at dinner, or pour a drink to cope after a long day. These rituals shape the subconscious belief that alcohol is a symbol of reward, celebration, connection, stress relief, and adulthood. By the time we take our first sip, the narrative is already formed.

But the normalization goes beyond observation. It is built into our language and behaviors. We ask friends if they want to “grab drinks” instead of asking them if they want to talk. We measure fun through how much we consume. We celebrate milestones with alcohol and frame sobriety as deprivation. I absorbed these messages without question, and when I look back at my teens and early twenties, I realize how naturally binge drinking fit into the script I had been handed. I was not making conscious decisions. I was following a cultural pathway paved long before me.

How Environment Shapes Our Choices

Dr. Benjamin Hardy writes extensively about the power of environment in his book Willpower Doesn’t Work. His research shows that willpower alone cannot sustain meaningful change. Instead, the world around us influences our decisions far more than we realize. When I first came across this idea, it hit me harder than I expected. I had always believed I simply needed more discipline. In reality, my environment had been programming my behavior all along.

Billionaire entrepreneur Brian Johnson said something similar that stuck with me. He asked how anyone was supposed to eat healthy when they drive past twenty fast food restaurants every day. The point was simple. If unhealthy options are everywhere, then resisting them cannot rely solely on willpower. It requires redesigning the environment itself. Alcohol works the same way. Liquor stores are everywhere. Convenience stores push alcohol near the checkout. Grocery stores fight to sell more of it. Restaurants build their revenue models around it. Social gatherings revolve around it.

When something saturates your environment, you do not choose it. It chooses you unless you consciously push back.

Alcohol is Ubiquitous and Aggressively Marketed

Alcohol is everywhere, but what makes it especially difficult to avoid is that its presence is often invisible, embedded into the background of everyday life. Advertisements appear on billboards, in streaming commercials, and across social media. Semi-trucks drive by with beer logos painted across the side. Sporting events, concerts, and holidays often feel like sponsored celebrations of alcohol.

The ubiquity is intentional. Alcohol is big business, and many companies rely on relentless marketing to keep demand high. The more normalized drinking becomes, the more profitable it is. Once I started paying attention, I realized I had been swimming in messaging that encouraged me to drink. That realization helped me understand that my decisions were not entirely my own. They were shaped by a cultural machine designed to make drinking feel natural and even expected.

My Journey Cutting Alcohol Out of My Life

Like many people, I drank heavily in college. Binge drinking was not just accepted. It was celebrated. Even as I got older, I held onto the habit long after it stopped serving me. I told myself I only drank socially, but “socially” usually meant too much and too often. I never considered how alcohol was affecting my asthma, my performance, my recovery, or my mental clarity.

Everything shifted when I started pushing my limits as an athlete. Training for ultra endurance events forced me to confront the ways alcohol drained my energy, slowed my recovery, and muddied my focus. I took a 14-month break from drinking and won a 100K race during that time. That was when everything clicked. If I could perform at that level without alcohol, then alcohol was taking something from me every time I consumed it.

Now I drink once or twice a year, and even then, I accept that I will feel the effects for days or weeks. I am not perfect, and I do not pretend to be. But I do own my decisions. I no longer drink unconsciously. I no longer drink because everyone else is drinking. I drink only when I choose to, and that freedom alone has transformed my life.

Navigating Social Gatherings Without Alcohol

One of the biggest fears people have about cutting alcohol is losing social connection. I understand that fear because I felt it too. Many of my friendships were built around drinking. But what I discovered is that removing alcohol actually deepened my relationships. Without the fog of intoxication, conversations became more meaningful. Connection became more authentic.

That said, you need a strategy. I always bring sparkling water or a non-alcoholic drink to gatherings. I set boundaries around where I go and how long I stay. Sometimes I simply skip events that revolve entirely around drinking. The goal is not isolation but intentionality. When you control your environment, you control your choices.

The Real Health Risks of Alcohol

I cannot talk about alcohol without acknowledging the health risks. The World Health Organization estimates that nearly three million deaths each year are tied directly to alcohol. That does not include deaths caused indirectly through chronic disease. Alcohol is linked to cardiovascular disease, neurological disorders, cancer, liver disease, diabetes, and long-term metabolic dysfunction.

The science is clear. There is no safe amount of alcohol for long-term health. Knowing this forced me to rethink my relationship with drinking. As an athlete with asthma and someone who prides himself on optimizing performance, it no longer made sense to consume something that compromised every system in my body.

The Benefits of Quitting Alcohol

Removing alcohol from my life opened up possibilities I did not know existed. I became a better partner, a better friend, a better son, a better dog father, and a better business owner. My energy stabilized. My mood improved. My mental clarity sharpened. My athletic performance soared.

Sobriety did not make me perfect. It made me present. It gave me the space to show up at my best, even if that best varies day to day. When you stop numbing yourself, you start discovering who you really are.

Choosing a New Path Forward

The decision to stop drinking is not about perfection. It is about ownership. You get to choose the role alcohol plays in your life. You get to choose whether you want to continue following society’s script or write your own. The first step is changing your environment. The next step is building accountability.

That is why I created my Healthy Living Guide. It outlines the three pillars that helped me transform my health: movement, tracking, and accountability. You do not have to overhaul your entire life in one day. You simply need to take the next step.